Maybe one day I can have a reunion with myself. 

-Sebastian Bach

-

Before I blogged on Cliches in Chicago, I blogged on a tumblr called Sass of Chicago. I unfortunately, and stupidly deleted all of the writings on that blog, in a moment of dramatics. I cursed that blog, and my previous single life, because I was sooo in love with Chuck Cuevas. Now, as a quasi-adult, I understand that you should never give anything up, especially your poignant, beautifully written and hilarious blog about your adventures in dating (okay...maybe kissing..) terrible boys. But now I'm an adult, and I know to never delete your blog for anyone. 

I have a story for all of you. In my fit of annoyance/fed uppance with Chuck, I signed up for Tinder. I remember my fondest foray into Tinder, meeting Jake Reagan and becoming completely infatuated with him. And of course, I remembered my worst- meeting that stupid architect Ted, that called that painting crispy and having him annoy the fuck out of me.

When I downloaded it, of course I wasn't serious about it- I was just curious. I mean, can you blame me? I had the earth shattering realization (once again) that Chuck Cuevas was a fucking asshole, and was completely embarrassed that I thought for even a split moment that things would be sunshine and rainbows. And the realization that regardless of how long we've been together or how much fun we have, Chuck may never stop spontaneously disappearing. And can you imagine that? ME, ELIZABETH LEONA BUI dealing with this bullshit when I have kids with him or something?

"Sorry, kids, your dad just disappeared because he can't deal with shit...again."

My daughter would look back at me in her Kate Spade for girls dress, and throw her mini Maisie bag on the fucking ground. As my son sits there, in his J.Crew button down and bright Chubbies shorts and baby Sperries. They'd be like, "Um, mom, are you really putting up with this bullshit?"

And as I sat there, I realized, "HOLY FUCK, I've been through a lot with Chuck."

Yeah, he was all, "We're going to be okay, we're going to get through this, there's going to be good times and bad times, but we're going to get through this. We're going to be fine," but holy fucking shit, this MF has a lot of fits. And I understand, there's been times when I get mad or upset, but I've never just disappeared or not talked about it.

BUT I DIGRESS.

Anyways, so I made a Tinder, and then promptly deleted it.

Blair: What kind of tacos?
Guy on Tinder: It's a simple recipe. I just wrap a tortilla around my dick and stick it in your mouth until the secret sauce comes out, most girls find it delicious ;)

EW.

BOY, BYE.

Maybe the universe just wants me to be alone forever, and to be in Chuck Cueva's crazy limbo. Just watch, guys, I'll be fifty years old and Chuck will still be telling me, "I need you to wait two years for me."

Okay, I feel like my life has the makings of a romantic comedy- I've met so many guys in quasi-cute ways, and spontaneously. It just is missing the part where I fall in love and meet the perfect guy. In my romantic comedy, these meet-cutes end in me going on a date with them, finding out that I don't like them at all in about .26 milliseconds, and then having the date end in them begging me for a second chance or another date.

I've been reunited with a guy from three years ago, I've been asked out randomly in Target, I've even met a guy on a fucking elevator (and we have had MANY moments in said stupid elevator), but this is real life. In real life, perfectly handsome guys aren't everywhere, and in real life you go months without having sex or going on a date. And when you do go on a date...it's definitely not like you thought it'd be like.

And as I sat there reminiscing, I couldn't help but wonder...what exactly have these guys been up to?

-

Haz- He is on my Do Not Social Media Stalk list- he is probably still living with the girl he dated as soon as we broke up, who he claims he's super in love with. Yes, he did confess his undying love to me like two years ago while they were dating.

Tom- He and his girlfriend recently broke up, and he's just been posting pictures of him being alone or with friends, broing it up. How awkward.

Bill- Has a girlfriend as awkward, condescending, and fake artsy/wannabe hipster as him.

Sexy Drake- Oh my gosh, why is he still super freaking hot. It's okay, guys, I'm just going to keep reminding myself about how he tried to do butt stuff with me, and that he's not that super hot (but he is)

James- Still dating this girl, is going to be living with Chuck... whatever.

Alejandro- Oh my god, even this thirsty MF has a girlfriend...what the hell?!?

Luke- HOW ARE ALL THESE GUYS GETTING GIRLFRIENDS?!?

Johnny- In Peoria for his residency, pining after Elizabeth Bui. Just kidding guys, he's in residency and probably macking on nurses.

Jake- Living in Milwaukee, being stupidly charming and handsome.

Toronto- I don't even need to Google this one- he has a girlfriend now too! I see him all the time when I go to work, because his job is working facilities in the building where our office is located. He actually is the only guy on this list that I'm on great terms with!

Chuck- I refuse.

Louis- He's busy wearing stupid J.Crew cardigans and dressing like a Kennedy while being an asshole and offending people, probably.

Ted- Besides creeping on my Snapchats, who knows? Probably still desperately searching for love.

Rafael- Probably out banging half of Chicago- without using a condom.

Ezra- Probably still heartbroken over his ex- but I heard he's transferring schools!

Target Guy- Who knows, and who cares?

Johnson- WHERE ARE ALL OF THESE TERRIBLE MEN FINDING GIRLFRIENDS?!

Jason- UGH, he still looks stupid handsome too. I ran into him last week while I was buying tacos and I walked away.

Carter- Still dealing drugs, and showing up in Blair's summer classes.

Derek- Still single, and still not getting back with his three year ex girlfriend even though he clearly loves her.

Nash- Still creeping on Snapchat, and hoping that Chuck and I don't get back together.

-

And the person I know you're all curious about...

Blair- Living life, working towards her goals and being undeniably sassy. Still going on adventures, still dating terrible men, and still blogging about it.

A Cocktail of Terrible Stereotypes

“The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.”
-Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You

-

I remember going to a St. Baldrick's event, and having Shane say, "Is this a fundraiser or a gathering of guys you went on dates with?" Because literally, this College of Medicine event turned into a collection of a bunch of guys that I had gone on dates with. I've dated quite a few med students, and I know a little bit too much about the people in the COM at my school (more than I care to). As a result, I consider myself a little bit of an expert (unfortunately), when it comes to dating med students. I've pretty much dated them all, and the weirdest/worst thing about med students, is that they don't just fall under one of these categories, no, they're like a cocktail of terrible stereotypes and douchebaggery. Romney was a mix of at least three of these things, Johnson Baker as well, they're like a potpourri of asshole-ness.

Oh med students, the most transparent and easiest to spot of men.

But all in all, here we go-

The Different Types of Guys You'll Date From Med School

The One Who Thinks He’s God’s Gift to Humanity- Not to be confused with “The One Who Thinks He’s The Next Surgeon General,” although they both think that they’re tremendously phenomenal in different ways. This guy thinks that he’s an absolute God- and that each and every woman will bow down in chances that he will date that lucky, average female. Because he is SOOOO spectacular, he is unable to comprehend the word “no,” and is incapable of handling rejection, because he thinks he’s hot shit. He thinks he’s McDreamy, and will be completely incapable of understanding why you won’t date/sleep/bow down to him.

The One Who Thinks He’s The Next Surgeon General- He thinks he’s a medical GOD, and that he is going to be the best damn doctor in the entire world. He believes that he is a medical genius, and on the path to revolutionizing medicine. He probably will talk shit about his classmates, and how incredibly amazing and intelligent he is. Will probably want to go into some sort of surgery, most likely cardio-thoracic.

The Gunner- He lives, eats, breathes, anatomy, and spends all of his time studying, day and night. You will be rendered useless and unnecessary to him, because you are not going to advance his medical career. He will pay more attention to his anatomy textbook than you. All he cares about is med school, and all he talks and thinks about is….med school.

The One Who Probably Has A Wife and Kids- A little (or a lot) older than the conventional med student, he's re-living his undergrad years by dating hella females. His Facebook profile is squeaky clean, and he deletes tags on the regular. You never know that he's thinking, or what he's up to, and he definitely always acts like he's hiding something... after all, he is old enough to be someone's father... maybe even yours. He dresses like he works a 9-5 job, and is extremely secretive.

The One With Side Hos For Days- He is basically dating four girls at once, most likely all from the College of Medicine. Skillfully, and carefully, he will make sure they are all in different social groups so that they never come across each other. Think John Tucker, but in wannabe scrubs. He is most likely overcompensating for something, whether it's his lack of game in undergrad, feeling inferior to classmates, or that he's incapable of adult relationships. Will most likely be banging nurses in residency.

The One That Every Girl Has A Crush On- Super handsome, super suave, and super dreamy- this is the guy that everyone in med school thinks is the hunkiest and handsomest. The real McDreamy, his ridiculous attractiveness will have you questioning how someone like him could possibly exist. Unfortunately, he probably is still with his girlfriend from undergrad...sorry.

The Rebounding Mess- Recently broke up with his long-term girlfriend from undergrad, and now he's banging everything that he sees in sight. Will use the fact that he's a future doctor to score girls (but then again, every guy on this list does...), and uses the um, "companionship" of other women to pretend like he's not absolutely hurt and heartbroken.

The One That’s “Perfect”- Handsome, smart, intelligent- everyone says he's a great guy, a nice guy, a phenomenal person, and that's what he is, right? Definitely not. You will think every guy on this list, is "perfect" when you first meet them, and then you will be sadly awoken to realize that there is most definitely, something wrong with them.

But all in all- this is not a definitive list (although pretty damn close, if I do say so myself), and of course, like men in general- not all guys in med school are terrible. Just a hell of a lot of them.

Two Types of Nothing

“I like to think I'm helping them by hating them. I'm reminding them that they aren't God's gift to humankind.”

-Veronica Roth, Divergent

-

March 17th, 2016

I stood there, just me and Rohan, as we waited for the Uber that he had called. It was St. Patrick's Day, and Anders and Johnson had completely disappeared. Shah was still in the bar, trying to get the waitress' number. And we stood there, just the two of us. Rohan was definitely cute, and Anders had suggested that he was the best one out of their whole group...

"So what's the deal with you and Johnson?" he asked, as a drunken mob walked past the two of us. People were still going pretty hard, as it was St. Patty's day. Rohan was on my wavelength though, where beer and pizza at one's apartment sounded much better than navigating through Lincoln Park, past the hordes of drunk people.

"We went on a couple dates, and then I-" I paused for a moment, and coughed. "I mean, we decided that we were better off friends, so he invited me out tonight!" 

Rohan looked at me, curiously.

"Nothing ever happened between the two of us, we never banged," I insisted, adamantly. Not even if Johnson was the last man in the entire would would I EVER consider even giving him a high five. (And this was before he had followed me twenty blocks, now I am tremendously disgusted by him). 

"So you friendzoned him? Are you sure you don't want to bang him?"

And with those two questions, the coffin was nailed shut. My chances of dating any first year med students had been sealed, especially the one standing right next to me.

-

It had been almost a month since Johnson and I became friends again, and for whatever reason, I seemed to think that he could be somewhat useful, and somewhat a decent friend.

"No way in hell he's going to give your number to that guy," Matthew had said, that night at the bar.

"Maybe he's gotten over it, and he's going to be a good person and give my number to Rohan," I responded, as I took a bite out of my cilantro chicken tacos. "He's not that terrible." Matthew gave me a look, as he picked up another couple friends.

"Really, he's not terrible." 

"You know he likes you, and you know he can't tell the difference between pepper and brown sugar!"

That was a very valid point. Very legitimate. I took a sip out of my water and shrugged my shoulders. Maybe Johnson wouldn't be a terrible person about it?"

-

Johnson: Like I've never been in this position before. It's unorthodox.

I groaned. Matthew and Shane were right- was I really expecting Johnson to be normal about it? Johnson Baker is a simple minded, and incredibly entitled man. He's tremendously annoying, and if you couldn't tell by the fact that he followed me twenty blocks interrogating me as to why I didn't want to date him and why I wasn't attracted to him, he is, and was the worst type of guy possible. I have never understood guys that think they have claim on a woman- like how Johnson thought there was this whole huge thing between the two of us, as if we were lovers and now I was being a huge bitch about it. 

I'm not some stupid girl who thinks she can be friends with everyone- hell, do you see me never talking to Chuck again? But there's the difference there- Chuck and I were in love for almost two years, if any of this stuff happened between us (which it wouldn't, because we aren't friends, I would never think any of his friends are cute, and I wouldn't try to be friends with him), he would have every damn right to be upset or act weird. 

But Johnson and I literally went on like, two dates. I gave him like, one peck that was absolutely disgusting, and I wasn't attracted to him. And we are friends- to the point where he talks about banging what he considers to be MILFs, I talk about dates, and he has absolutely no fucking claim on me, whatsoever. BECAUSE WHAT WE HAD WAS LITERALLY NOTHING. And I don't know why it is so hard for his tiny brain to understand this concept, but he literally has no reason to act as if I'm off limits, or his, or as if this is some crazy weird situation. 

And it's not just on the whole me thinking his friend is cute thing, it's also a general thing that he does. Every time I turn down a guy, he acts like a vigilante for them, as if he is their masked hero, under the rude and completely uncalled for rejection by Blair Bui. He judges me, and acts like I'm this huge bitch that just rejects guys for my amusement- and guess what? I'm not! I'm just looking for that magic- and I damn well deserve it! 

I had known our friendship wouldn't last for long, considering the fact that he obviously is feeling some kind of way, and he is such a petty asshole about it, but there was a small part of me that hoped he could be just a normal dumb ass, and that we could be friends. And not this petty, entitled, annoying, stupid, dumb asshole.

Blair: What position?

I bet you five hundred dollars, that he says "setting up a girl that I went on dates with, with someone I know" or something along those lines.

Johnson: Idk like trying to hook someone up with people in the same social circle. Particularly someone I went on a couple dates with.

HE LITERALLY HAS NO CLAIM ON ME WHATSOEVER. 

Okay, I would be mad too in his case if we were madly in love, or dated, or he was my boyfriend, or something VALID. Or even if we had sex or made out!

BUT WE LITERALLY WENT ON LIKE TWO DATES AND I DIDN'T LIKE HIM AND HE CLAIMED HE ONLY WANTED TO BANG ME.

OKAY, and the fact that he acts weird about it, really annoyed me and blew my mind. I had refrained from yelling at him, or bitching at him many times before. All the times that Kayresia, Serena, Shane, Matthew, etc had told me that they would have been completely done with Johnson's ass, I just bit my tongue and didn't say anything.

Johnson: I'm not jealous/mad or even uncomfortable about that part, but like I said it's unusual.

"What a fucking liar," I had thought to myself. I must have said it to myself too, because Carter stopped listening to his lecture, and turned to face me.

"Are you okay?"

I must have been extremely stupid that day, because not only did I think Johnson would do me a solid without being a complete asshole about it, but I had also agreed to study with Carter. Who also, was annoying as fuck. 

"I'm fine," I said, ignoring him.

"You really should be studying," he said. I gave him a dirty look too, because he was THREE lectures behind me. Carter and I had been done, long before his whack ass told me that he would finally take me on a date when school ends. As in, when the semester is over, a month from now. He was entitled, just like Johnson, except whereas Carter didn't find ways to remotely annoy me like Johnson did. But he was still on the same level of annoying, where he thought he was so great, that I would wait a month for him.

BITCH, I didn't even wait for Chuck's ass, and I was with that mofo for a year and a half!

I started to type up my response, and at this point, I knew that our friendship was over, and that I wouldn't be able to date anyone else from his class either. With all the nonsense he said to my face, who knew what this jerk said about me behind my back?

Blair: Okay literally for like the ten millionth time we went on three dates, I didn't like you and I wasn't attracted to you. Life moves on, people aren't attracted to people and people don't want to date people. It's a normal phenomenon and it happens. And it shouldn't be considered unusual because shit happens, unless you take personal offense, which you shouldn't because it was three tiny dates and not a big deal at all.

Johnson: And like I said for the millionth time I don't care or have an issue with hooking you up with my friends, I really don't, otherwise I would have said no. It's just a position I've never been in before. I have no problem with it, I've just never done this before.

"BITCH PLEASE!"

Carter turned and looked at me, as I ignored him again.

Blair: You've never set people up before? It's like a normal thing that normal humans do.

Johnson: Yeah I've done it before.

Blair: Then it shouldn't be unusual at all!

And this is the part where Johnson Baker, the gremlin man-child nearly dies.

Johnson: I mean here's I think what gets me. Literally right after I said I'd be friends with you, you start asking me to hook you up with people, and I really get the feeling that's my only use to you. I really don't care who in my school you see or bang, but if I'm just an accessory to that then I see nothing in it for me.

"I see nothing in it for me."

I won't be friends with guys I've dated or gone on dates with, or whatever, because they are never cool about it. They are never chill, and at some point, these assholes always make me uncomfortable by asking me (or interrogating me) about why I won't-

1. bang them
2. date them
3. both

And it's something that genuinely bothers me, because the agreement of being friends with your previous date (or whatever), WITHOUT any romantic vibes, is that you are literally fucking friends, and that's it. It's not like I cuddle or go on dates with these mofos, I literally do normal friend activities, and talk about guys, and they talk about girls. And I always hope and pray for a normal friendship, and it never happens, because they always say they see nothing in it for them- because apparently, me being their friend is nothing. Me, sitting there, talking to them, listening to them, hanging out with them is "nothing in it for them." Me, being a friend- "nothing for them." And they say this, because do you know what they would consider something to them?

ME BANGING THEM.

OKAY, when was it impossible for guys and girls to become friends? To hang out normally without asking weird shit, or interrogating someone for twenty blocks? Because Johnny did the exact same shit, and he asked me why I wouldn't have sex with him, and once I told him I wasn't going to- he said he was out, because there was nothing in it for them. 

Am I missing something there? Because when I tell someone that WE ARE LITERALLY PLATONIC FRIENDS AND NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN, it means, WE ARE LITERALLY PLATONIC FRIENDS AND NOTHING IS EVER GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN. It is not pre-foreplay. It is not a segue-way to fucking. It is the friends path, where we hang out, drink beer, eat pizza, and guess what- ARE FRIENDS. 

And I promise I don't flirt with them, or walk around half naked. I always meet them in public places, pay for my own shit, and insist that we are friends. FRIENDS. And I swear to you- Johnson Baker is a terrible wingman. He would literally announce to EVERYONE that I wanted to meet a specific guy and make me look thirsty as hell. LITERALLY. But I'm not here to talk about how he obviously likes me, and is an embarrassing man-child.

Blair: 

1.  I know I did that, I did that to reinforce that I didn't want to date you and wasn't interested in you. And I thought I would be able to set you up with some of my friends but none of them are interested. Oh well.
2. We were on the track of being normal friends until you followed me for twenty blocks? Do you not understand how absolutely crazy and ludicrous that is- especially calling me inconsiderate and acting like I was at fault??? Because I definitely wasn't and that was weird as hell and also quite rude as hell.
3. I have plenty of guy friends and if you need a reference they'll tell you that I'm a pretty chill lady and that I like beer, but none of them weirded me out and offended me like that, which is why I think I have the not-so-subtle hint of coldness and sass.
4. Idk why you expect me to be something more than a friend because this whole time it seems like you've got some unresolved feelings and it's awkward, it's obvious from how rude AF you are when it comes to me and guys, the false assumptions and judgment and questions of my character
5. I don't need anyone to meet people, I just said he was cute! It happens, life happens.

 Johnson: Look, I really don't care to point fingers and argue

That's because all the fingers are pointed at you.

Johnson: I think it's best we just cut things off.
Blair: Good, because I don't think I can tolerate any more accusations and interrogations of my character.

I put down my phone, done talking to that asshole, and looked at the asshole next to me. Carter looked at me, shocked. And that stupid look on his face simply irritated me, if we're going to be honest. My phone went off, with another text from Johnson, attempting to converse further and to end things on a good note.

But I knew that my fate was sealed, I would not be going on a date with Rohan, or possibly any other med student at this school.

Romney's Ex

"I usually make up my mind about a man in ten seconds, and I very rarely change it."
-Margaret Thatcher

-

As I walked out of the crowded bar, heeled ankle booties clicking on the pavement, I looked around for a curly mess of hair. And as soon as I turned to face a flickering street light, Johnson appeared, waving at me. I was glad that the two of us could be friends, even though there was no reason we couldn't be. 

We went on two dates- and after the awkward kiss on the second, I immediately knew that I had absolutely no interest in him. He was weird and cocky, and just...I wasn't attracted to him at all. He was like this little gremlin man-child to me, a perfect candidate for a friend, but definitely not even close to being in the running to be my boyfriend. He had asked for another chance and for another date after I had not-so-casually suggested that I didn't like him, and I told him that my decision was adamant. But he was a cool guy, and the fact that he invited me out with his friends had suggested that he was cool.

"Hey what's up?"

"Not much, are your friends in there?" I asked, as he directed me to the crowded, dive-y bar across the street.

"Yeah, but I'm going to introduce you as Romney's ex, because that'll make you seem cooler," Johnson said, as we headed to the back. 

It turns out that Romney is not only ridiculously and extremely unpopular among women, but also among men. 

The bar was full of people, green beers being passed around and plastic beads clattering everywhere. What did I expect, going out on St. Patrick's, anyways? As we approached the group, I immediately noticed him. He was tall, cute, and extremely handsome- his sandy blonde hair perfectly clashed with his pistachio green button down and navy blue Land's End sailing vest. He was wearing navy Sperrys, and he exuded the swagger of an old-timey sailor. 

"This is Romney's ex," Johnson said, gesturing to me.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you!" I said, as I shook his hand. "I'm Blair."

"I'm Anders, so you dated Romney, huh?"

"Unfortunately," I said, laughing. "Are you in the same class as Johnson?" 

He took another swig of his bottle, and nodded. "Yeah, I want to go into pediatrics," he said, "What about you?"

"Me too! I want to go into pediatrics, because I think children are so incredibly innocent. And the majority of the unfortunate things that occur to them, which end up in the ER, are not by their choice or mistake, but the mistakes of adults."

"I agree completely. And I think that when you save a child's life, it's just so much more meaningful. That's why I want to go into pediatric surger-"

And in that moment, the gremlin man-child magically appeared. He introduced me to his other friends, Nate, Rohan, and Shah, and then quietly pulled me away.

"SO?"

"What do you mean, so?" I said, giving him side eye, and taking a sip of my lime sparkling water.

"So, what do you think?"

I looked over at the motley crew of guys he attempted to pawn me off to. "Did you really think I'd like any of them?" They were definitely not my type, at all. It was as if I had envisioned a Kate Spade bag and someone threw an Ed Hardy at me. I was a bit insulted, because I felt like he purposely was throwing these guys at me.

"I mean, I thought you'd like Shah...or Rohan, or maybe Randy," Johnson said, shrugging. I looked over at the 5'5 tiny Caucasian male looking back at me, and then gave Johnson a dirty ass look.

"So how do you know Johnson?" 

I turned around, to see Anders standing there, looking at me.

"I went on a couple dates with him that didn't work out, and so I, uh, we decided it'd be better off as friends."

"Really?" Anders said, looking at me. "So you aren't a thing with him?" Anders leaned in a bit, and I laughed.

"Definitely not," I said, leaning in a bit. Anders looked at, and as all the commotion happened, we kinda just stood there, for a brief second.

"He's uh, actually supposed to be my wingman," I added, making it even more obvious that I was very much single.

"Really?" 

I looked at Anders expectantly. Score, Blair, you've been out for like fifteen minutes and you've already met a perfectly perfect guy.

"Then you should talk to Rohan," Anders responded, "He's a good guy."

I stood there, in shock. Did he just say what I thought he was saying?

TALK TO ROHAN?

"One second, where Johnson?" I nonchalantly asked, walking over across the bar.

"I think Anders is cute," I whispered. I turned to see Johnson, giving me the dirtiest look.

"I know you do, and he's taken," Johnson said, walking off. I casually flipped my hair over my shoulder, and headed back to Anders, who was sneakily checking me out.

Even though Anders was taken, I still had fun talking to the guys, telling them embarrassing stories about when I dated Romney and just talking in general. It was a little bit annoying because they were all inconspicuously trying to spit game, or pawn themselves off on me. But I tried to dodge it as best as I could....by making it very clear that we were platonic friends. 

After pulling another one of them off, I turned to see Anders, holding a green beer.

"You know you've been holding that beer for like an hour," Anders said, snarkily. He pushed a bit of his hair back.

The two of us stood and talked, and suddenly, as we talked, I felt a presence next to me.

"He has a girlfriend, he has a girlfriend, you look thirsty as fuck," Johnson whisper-yelled, as I stood right in front of Johnson.

I had no idea why he was so obviously annoying, but I decided to ignore it.

"You really should talk to Rohan though," Anders said, as he broke the silence between us. "He really is the best one out of all of us."

-

The rest of the night was a mixture of Johnson trying to pawn his unattractive (but very cool!) friends off on me, and his friends trying to pawn him off on me. But regardless, as I sat on that couch, and had all these ridiculous guys around me, and Anders sitting across from me, it seemed like that was exactly what I needed. The New Girl references, the beer, the pizza, and the gossip, it was all perfect. And even though I definitely didn't meet the next blog-worthy guy, it didn't matter, because I was having fun.and having a good ass time.

The universe always seems to have a ridiculous sense of humor, and instead of sending me the perfect guy, it instead sent me four imperfect guys- who ended up being exactly what I needed.