Ninety-Nine Cent Strawberries

“Expectation is faith in motion: you expect the things you hope for to happen.” 

-TemitOpe Ibrahim

I want to tell you all that since summer's started that I am a bad bitch and that I have been slaying all across Chicago. But, that's not really the case, I actually may have lost my sanity, as I texted both Jason AND Louis Romney. Of course, they didn't say anything back, and I wouldn't either if I were them... maybe after today I'll be banned from the campus of the College of Medicine. I feel like Johnson already has gotten me banned, although I should really ban him, as he followed me twenty blocks asking me why I wouldn't date him. But all of that is just a tiny blip on everything that's been going on in my life.

Everyone keeps dip-setting and getting fired at work, I would be surprised if we have at least two staff members in our office by the end of this month. It's been stressful going to work, because of all the spontaneous meetings and all the ambiguity everywhere...especially since my manager is dip-setting and she's chosen to do absolutely no work until her last day. Honestly, it would have been more helpful if she had just left already. It's been stressful because things keep happening, surprises keep happening...and it's just been so much shit happening. I feel like things can't stay the same for even a millisecond, and it's making me wonder what's going on, and it's been making me question myself. A lot of things recently have been making me question myself- but on the work front, I feel like everyone is get boosted except for me, which is a little bit frustrating, to be honest. Maybe it's just annoying because even Chuck's ass is moving up...and I truthfully believe that good shit just keeps on happening to him, without him even trying.

I mean, look at our relationship- AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING. Chuck's been a fucking asshole, I'm not even talking to him right now. His ass has been completely MIA, and he acts like he's super fucking busy and like he's got so much to do, but all he does all day is fucking lay bricks. OKAY. And he has no idea what's been going on in my life, or what I've been up to, and how stressed I've been- he hasn't been there for me in a long ass time. And he tried to be all, "Blair, why am I your only fucking support system." And he's not- no one is. I've learned to be independent and take care of my own damn self!

WHY ON EARTH WOULD I HAVE A PERSON WHO ONLY CARES WHEN IT'S CONVENIENT BE MY SUPPORT SYSTEM? GET THE FUCK OUT, CHUCK.

He hasn't even done anything! And that blew my mind- that he thought he was doing so damn much for me. And I'm not that girl anymore, I'm not that girl who wants Chuck Cuevas to tell her that she's pretty, and wants to go home at the end of the day, and tell Chuck why she's sad, I'm not that weak ass little girl, I've gone through so much, and I climbed out of that ditch he threw me in, and over that mountain, and ultimately, I didn't do all of this to get the short end of the stick. The girl worth having waits for no one, and I'm a girl that's worth having. And so, I made the decision to just ignore his whack ass, much like I did in February.

It's not like I'm going to ignore him forever (probably), and it's not even like I'm really ignoring him...his ass has been laying bricks and being an asshole. Hell, it makes me want to lay a brick on his smug face! Anyways, I walked out of work, ready to meet Audrey. I was wearing a dark mauve-y plum lipstick, dark skinnys, wedges, and a chic blouse. I had on the sunglasses that I had picked up in a Wicker Park boutique, and I was feeling like a bad bitch. Of course, I was carrying my Kate Spade crossbody.

"Whatever happened to Jake Reagan anyways?" Audrey asked, as we walked through Wicker Park.

"He moved to Milwaukee, and we haven't talked since." I knew she liked Jake- after all, I was dating him when I had first met Audrey. There was just something about Jake Reagan. Matthew once told me that he had this one ex, where if he asked him to meet up, he wouldn't be able to resist- that's his Jake Reagan. We haven't spoken in months... to be honest, we haven't spoken really since I made the choice to hang out with Chuck instead of taking the train down to U of I to visit Jake...

Sometimes I wonder what could've happened, and like I told Audrey that day, there's just something about him that makes me feel like we have unfinished business.

But that just might be because I'm mad as hell at Chuck, and I'm wondering how things would have turned out if I had never dated his whack ass.

"These strawberries could be GMO," Audrey said, pointing at the strawberries on sale. I gave her a look, and shook my head.

"Audrey, they're literally ninety-nine cents, just buy the fucking strawberries." We got into line, and as I looked towards the check-out line, I noticed a pretty cute cashier guy. Immediately, I flipped my hair a little, stood up a little bit straighter, and looked in his way.

I walked up to the register, as he rang up my ninety-nine cent strawberries, making eye contact and looking at him alluringly. I probably looked incredibly stupid to everyone surrounding me, but I'd like to think that I looked so sexy and bomb that he stopped in his tracks, and our grocery store surroundings faded around me into a glowing light that made me radiate of hotness. You know, like in the movies.

Except I was buying ninety-nine cent strawberries and a box of pasta.

"Can you pretty please give me a bag with a handle?" I asked, smiling coyly.

"Yeah, sure, but I'm going to need a little favor from you," Jewel Osco boy said, with a wink.

Audrey looked at him, expectantly. This was going to happen, this was going to be a really cute story that we met in Jewel Osco when I was buying ninety-nine cent strawberries, after Chuck Cuevas pissed me off and I was trying to distract myself with a Wicker Park adventure.

And that this was definitely not the first time a guy was going to ask me out on a date in a grocery store, although the first time was a bit of a mess... (in case you didn't know, this guy asked me out when we went to Target, and he told me he fucked a fifteen year old)

"Alright, the favor I'm going to need from you is," he leaned in, and smiled at me, "is that I'm going to need you to take this survey for me," he said, holding up a piece of paper.

I turned to Audrey, who stared back at me, jaw dropped on the ground. Yes, the Jewel Osco check-out boy did not ask me for my fucking phone number, but to take a fucking survey for him. A SURVEY.

This was what my love life had amounted to, flirting with a Jewel Osco boy for a bag with handles, only to be asked to take a fucking survey. I am sure that everyone in the store pretended that I didn't just get brutally rejected like that.

"He looked like he was getting really shy and nervous," Audrey said, as we walked to Jeni's Ice Cream. It was totally and perfectly okay, because all I really wanted was a Lavendar Wildberry, Lemon and Blueberry Buttermilk Yogurt, and Pear Riesling Sorbet scoop into a cup. And truthfully, this whole single Blair thing is kind of exciting.