The Massacre of Spring 2016

I don't like boys. They're kind of annoying. 

-Michelle Wie

-

"It's a text from Johnny," I said, surprised. The last time I had seen him was when I was taking Cora's dog, Jughead for a walk. Johnny had tried to make conversation, and although I was polite, I clearly had no intention of ever talking to him again. The last time I spoke to Johnny, it was just him yelling at me, asking me why I wouldn't have sex with him and why I wasn't attracted to him. For Fuck's sake, why are men guys boys constantly asking me why I won't (insert action here) them?

...I won't get into this, or else I'll end up posting the exact same rant that I blogged about when I stopped talking to Johnson.

When Chuck and I broke up, I didn't feel anything- I was so desperate to feel something, and to fill a void in my life, that I LITERALLY tried to fill a void. As in I kind of, sort of, aka I did, sleep with quite a few guys. Some of them were rebounds, some of them I genuinely thought could be something... but all in all, it was a terrible idea. I ended up filling that void, and feeling something- by focusing on myself, my strengths, and working on things that made me passionate. I was happy from my friends and loved ones, and I never looked back at the indiscretions that I had made.

Johnny: What is your blog address?

"He's trying to fuck you," Chuck said, looking at me. Although I like Chuck, there are still some moments when I just want to laugh and say, "Well, yeah."

"Well, yeah, Chuck." I said, laughing. "But he's leaving soon."

"He's trying to get a good bye smash." Chuck commented, nodding.

"No way in fuck."

Chuck knows about my blog, obviously, but I'm definitely not at the point where I want him to read the things that I've written- even if we were both in a different place when I wrote them!

An excerpt from, Chuck Cuevas Stinks:

"And then I thought about it, he definitely stank when we dated, I just never smelled it. But he didn't physically stink (well... At least I don't think he did, he may have), but he stank metaphorically, he just had this glaring problem with him that I ignored because I was in love with (or at least I thought I was)."

I know, I'm so coy. But anyways, back to the story at hand.

There was no way that I was going to respond to Johnny, and part of me wanted to be the crusader for girls who are constantly harassed and annoyed by guys that think they're entitled to bang them, but I kept my mouth shut.

-

Shay: You tryin to get some or what

I looked at my phone, nearly dropping in it shock.

"FUCK, here we go again." I thought to myself, shaking my head. Why was this shit constantly happening?

Blair: What do you mean
Shay: You know what I mean
Blair: WTF SHAY

I screenshotted the message, and sent it to Shane and Kayresia.

Shane: Lol thirsty AF
Kayresia: Lol smh

SHAKING MY DAMN HEAD INDEED, SHAY. I thought that the two of us were purely platonic friends- after all, he did help me start my business! I had recently discovered that my guy friends were dropping like flies, namely after

1. Trying to bang me, and then getting rejected, then getting mad
2. Trying to date me, and then getting rejected, then getting mad
3. Constantly asking me why I won't date/fuck/WHATEVER with them
4. Constantly trying to tap me and then getting entitled when I tell them to go fly a fucking kite

Among other things.

And I know it sounds so typical female, but I genuinely did want to be friends with them! I just wanted to live in a world where I could hang out with them, drink beer, shoot some nonsense, and then watch terrible TV- like I did with Shane! He and Matthew were the only ones left standing after the Massacre of Spring 2016, as Zayn, Johnny, Johnson, Carter, Kevin, and Shay were voted off the island. It was tiring- having them annoy me, and then eventually, get mad and blame me for being at fault. Because apparently, it is wrong for a woman to refuse a man nowadays, APPARENTLY if guys put in effort with a woman, they are entitled to them.

Shay: I don't want it lo

Blair: No, I'm dating someone. Ew, no. You're gross, bye.

I mean, I wasn't dating anyone- the only thing I was committed to was Grey's Anatomy on Netflix- and I didn't really care, or want to waste energy on trying to define what was going on with Chuck and I. We aren't involved with each other...or anyone else really. But Shay didn't have to know that, it was none of his business, or really...anyone else's either.

It wasn't that I was ashamed of Chuck- I'm really not. As a matter of fact, I think a lot of people would be overjoyed. For god's sake, my brother Julius probably loves Chuck more than he loves me! It's just with things being so up in the air, there was really no point in saying anything about it, not to mention that when you start telling people things, that's when things get real. And I'm not ready for that, for other people to know or get involved, and for it to be a thing. 

OKAY, and maybe because it's kind of fun sneaking around. I couldn't deny that it was kind of exciting to have people ask where I'm going and where I'm at, and to sneak back into my apartment building early in the morning, or to pretend like I'm staying, when I'm throwing on a crop top and skinny jeans to go see Chuck. It's fun, and I know that eventually people are going to find out, and that this whole sneaking around nonsense will stop, but for right now, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't enjoying it.

Which is also why Johnny Belcher can stay the hell off my blog.

Shay: Who is that

And also why Shay can stop texting me.