Nothing Except For A Courting Device

“A #GIRLBOSS is someone who’s in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it. As a #GIRLBOSS, you take control and accept responsibility. You’re a fighter – you know when to throw punches and when to roll with them. Sometimes you break the rules, sometimes you follow them, but always on your own terms. You know where you’re going, but can’t do it without having some fun along the way. You value honesty over perfection. You ask questions. You take life seriously, but you don’t take yourself too seriously. You’re going to take over the world, and change it in the process. You’re a badass.” 

-Sophia Amoruso

-

"Blair Bui Consulting has launched!

Running on hopes, dreams, and dedication (more like blood, sweat, tears), Blair has officially launched her business, Blair Bui Consulting.

Thank you to everyone for their support, and for the BB team (Shay, Shane, and Blair)

Special thanks to Cora, Matthew, Kevin, and everyone who listened to me talk nonstop about how excited I was."

-

I looked at the launch email, and smiled. This was happening. 

My only client was a guy that wasn't paying me a penny, but that was okay, because I had a business and she was mine, all mine. 

As I walked down the street, Anders appeared out of no where, waving at me. Still cute as I remembered, hair still sandy blonde, still ridiculously handsome.

I awkwardly waved, and then was abruptly interrupted.

"EY, you!"

I turned around to see a random European man. It was about 9 pm at night, and I was wandering the streets of Chicago alone. Within the two seconds that I had said hello to Anders, there seemed to be no one in a one mile radius of me and this sketchy European man.

"FUCK, I just started a business and I'm about to die already," I thought to myself, as I called the most recent person that I had texted.

"I have faith in you, I think you're going to make it happen. You don't seem like a lazy person at all, and you're motivated."

"And I'm a bitch," I added.

"Well, that's necessary in business," Will said. I was glad that Serena's boyfriend (basically husband) was such a rad guy, and he gave me a little bit of motivation in my current client-less state. Although we were running on faith and dreams, hope and magic, I couldn't help but wonder why I wasn't rollin' in Benjamins Jeffersons already. I had put up the posters, I had made a plan, and I was determined! I know that businesses take time to set off, but I really was excited.

Not to mention, I already sent that launch email out to people, including my ex boyfriend, who absolutely cannot know that my business is stagnant. 

Although I was loving the fire that I had found within myself, I couldn't help but feel a little bit lonely. I hadn't gone on a date in a long, long time. And my strings hadn't been really plucked (as in I enjoyed it) since Rafael and I hooked up in early February. 

"Maybe you should meet someone rad?" I thought to myself. It wasn't a crazy idea, having a boyfriend wouldn't be the worst thing ever. I'm a very particular lady, and I gave up on dating after going on so many dates that left me feeling disappointed. It's not like the guys weren't nice...ish. Or decent- there was just no fire or magic. No sparks. And that's what I want. As I thought about it, my train of thought was interrupted.

Blair: CAN WE ACKNOWLEDGE HOW CARTER TOLD ME HE'D GET ME FIVE CLIENTS IF I BANGED HIM?

Will: Aren't you giving away free consultations anyways?

Oh, right. In a desperate attempt marketing strategy genius idea to get clients, I sent out a blast saying that I was going to give out free consultations to the first 16 people from our email list that signed up for consultations. So far, none of them bit.

Blair: Just to people in our email list. The first 16!

Will: Tell him ten clients and you'll have a deal.

Never!

Kevin: I'm well aware us guys are fuckers. I'm guilty as charged hahaha

Blair: I'm going to print my posters, and I know because you tried to tap me freshman year

He really did, though. The cliffnotes version is that Thirsty Kevin went around telling people that we were a thing, and that I was his girlfriend...when I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT WAS NOT. During that time I was dating Haz, and Kevin was constantly trying to tap me- his attempts were weird and desperate. Long story short, I eventually told him that I was dating Haz and that I didn't like him, and he got mad and claimed that he never liked me. And this is after he tricked me into a date, and told everyone we were a thing!

BUT that is a story for another time.

Kevin: Lol nahhh

He did, you guys. He's totally lying.

Kevin: Not that there's anything wrong with you. I just don't consider myself that thirsty

He is, you guys. Don't be fooled.

Blair: Lol okay Kevin.

Kevin: If I wanted to sleep with you, I'd make it happen hahahahahah

I took a deep breath. 

Time and time again, I always find myself in the position where I have to tell an entitled guy that just because he wants to bang me, doesn't mean that he gets to bang me. Just because he likes me, does not mean that I am obligated to like him too. LIKE HOLY FUCK, is this such a hard concept to grasp?! Just because you want to stick your peen inside of me, doesn't mean that I magically want you.

BOY, BYE.

Blair: Uh, no.

Kevin: I'd get all Romeo and Juliet romantic

This goes to show further how he does not pay attention to me, other than trying to tap me. If you've read even a sentence off of this blog, you would know that I hate cheesy mushy romantic garbage. I hate the weird moments of magic that people try to force, and I hate long ass good morning texts. I hate weird romantic gestures, because the fact of the matter is, they never come from guys you want. 

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

I would have loved a weird romantic gesture from Chuck, or Rafael, or Louis. But I've never gotten them from them, I've only gotten them from cheesy desperate losers who need to use weird romantic shit as a crutch to get me to like them. Because girls are blinded by that shit (not me), and seem to believe that if a guy does cheesy shit for you, then that is love, and that is magic. And that is not the case.

Blair: You've already tried that. That definitely doesn't work on me. You need to read women and their personality.

God, Kevin better start paying me if I'm going to teach him how to get women.

Kevin: My version will be on point.

Ew. 

Kevin: I'd get you with corny one liners baby

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

Blair: Read at 11:35 pm

I screenshotted the messages and sent them to Shane and Shay.

Shay: Lmfao is he for real! No wonder his relationship didn't work out... Sounds like a complete ass smh

Shane: Lol I've been away from my phone and come back to whatever the hell is going on here

Awesome, now I have absolutely no clients. At least before I had one client. He just wasn't really paying me anything. My business was not a courting device, I wasn't going to deal with Kevin anymore. Of course I was glad that he had gotten better and we helped him...I just didn't want to help him like that.

I went back to my list of desperate attempts marketing strategy genius ideas. I had attempted to get an endorsement from the guy who ran Humans of UNI, but he just politely said, "Fuck you, Blair, you didn't let me tap you so screw you and your business."

OKAY, I'm paraphrasing, but that's kind of what happened. The guy that ran Humans of UNI, long story short, was basically obsessed with me last year when I was dating Chuck. He would message me every week asking for photoshoots and to meet up with him- he wanted to make an album and portfolio of just pictures of me! He would not stop messaging me, or leaving me alone, even when I didn't answer his messages and tried to swerve him. He knew I had a boyfriend, but he literally would not go away. Of course I was kind of flattered, it was kind of sweet in a super annoying and creepy way, but his persistence was ridiculous. It was gross.

I stopped for a moment.

WHAT IF I'M GOING TO NEED JOHNSON'S HELP IN LIKE A YEAR?

I groaned. At this point, if I'm going to progress my business, I might as well decide to never date again.

I had asked one more person for help, as my team needed a design person. I asked Derek for help. And spoiler alert, he tried to use my business as a courting device too.

Derek: I'll need to hear more about the company first haha when can you meet up to talk more about it?

Um, never?

I knew what Derek was trying to pull, he was trying to lure me into a "business meeting" so he could get his second chance at dating, and banging me. This wasn't happening.

AND, he definitely did not need to hear more about the company because the concept was pretty damn simple. I, Blair Bui, do relationship consultations in all aspects.

Blair: This should be sufficient.

I texted him the site link, and thought it would appease him. It did not.

In the shortest way possible to explain this, Derek basically decided to send his criticisms and judgmental bullshit, questioning my company and how I ran it. Just because I wouldn't meet his ass to give him another chance! 

I groaned.

I decided after all of this that I would take care of it myself. I wouldn't need any help from any guys that I swerved- I didn't need UNI guy's endorsement (well, I kinda do, he has hella influence on campus), or Derek's design skills. I was going to do this all by my damn self, and it was going to be perfectly okay.

"Blair, your business is literally nothing except for a courting device used by creepy guys. Your assets are -$30."

I sighed. I walked out of the library, and looked up to see Chuck's apartment building. A light was on in his window, although it was late at night. Even though the fire I found from my business was satisfying me emotionally, I definitely was lacking physically.

I looked at the window, and then looked away. Although for a split second, I will admit that I doubted myself, I didn't go through all of this to go back to square one. And I made this business for a reason, to help people be strong enough to move forward and pave their own paths- and I wasn't going to give up on it. I valued it, and I believed in it, even if it seemed like every damn guy only saw it as a courting device.