Zero Stars

A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it. 

-Danielle Steel

It had been literally three days since I had heard from Jason, the last thing he said to me was "Think Friday may work best for me."

What the fuck was that even???

At first, I was completely convinced that it was just because he was shy and whatnot, but then as time progressed, I couldn't help but become paranoid.

"Maybe Romney gave you a bad Yelp review," Serena said, as I analyzed the current situation.

"I don't think life works like that, Serena," I said, as I rummaged through my bag for a hand cream. I was balancing my cell phone on my shoulder, as I searched the abyss of lipsticks and post-its.

"I mean, think about it, I think that's the kind of shit guys do- you said they were friends right?"

She did have a point.

"No... he wouldn't do that."

C'mon Blair.

"Okay... I don't know-"

"EXACTLY," Serena said, interrupting me. "He could have given you a bad Yelp review."

I mean, even if he did, were things really so terrible between us that he would give me a bad Yelp review? I thought about that for a second, and then I started laughing out loud, to myself.

Okay, yeah, he would give me a review with the caption, "I wish I could give her zero stars."

I could see it now:

ZERO STARS. If I could give zero stars, I could. Blair Bui and I dated, and she and her friends are absolutely insane. They wouldn't stop asking me what my intentions were with her. She's too sassy, too brazen, and too bold. She's petty, young, and foolish. She is absolutely crazy and sent me texts when she was drunk calling me OLD AF. Don't date her.

On the other side of my romantic turmoil, Carter was proving to be a total bust. After being so butt hurt about my non-caring reaction to everything he did, my friends provided me some interesting advice... they basically told me to stop being such a huge bitch and to tell him that I liked him.

Blair: I'm going to admit that I actually like you, but you can't use it against me.

And ZILCH.

But as this all happened, I thought to myself, and could not believe that Romney could have left me a bad Yelp review...and the guys in the College of Medicine made up a big chunk of my dating pool! And so, I decided that I maybe needed to not burn every bridge I had to the pool of guys there...

Blair: Hey, Johnson, I was thinking that even though things didn't work out, I would still love to be friends!

C'mon, you can't judge a girl for doing what she's gotta do. Johnson may be kind of weird and a little bit desperate, but his friends definitely were not...