The Rules of the Game

“Look for the exception to every rule and you'll find it."

-Proverb

I think that dating's an experiment, it's a bunch of trial and error, and a bunch of revisions to your experiment. Whether it's isolating a certain group to be your experimental group (no more dating hella old guys), or changing your control that you use for comparison (no more comparing to my failed relationship with Chuck), or adding procedures (first date should be a coffee date), dating for me has definitely been a bunch of trial and error.

Mostly error.

And so, as a result of everything that's happened for the past two months, I have decided that I am going to make a couple rules for myself, too ensure that I don't get lost in the sauce.

1. No sex. Sex used to be important and valuable to me, but I feel like it's lost it's meaning as I've gotten older. 
2. No sex with Chuck. Seriously, just because he's phenomenal at it, doesn't mean that you can sporadically and spontaneously have sex with with him. Sex with an ex is absolutely a terrible idea. 
3. Actually, don't even talk to Chuck. He doesn't deserve it, you're too good of a girlfriend AND friend for him. He's not worth it, because he fucking sucks. 
4. Avoid Zayn at all costs. At risk of projectile vomiting, running away to hide, or other embarrassing (for him) behaviors, it's probably best that you avoid him until you die, or until he dies. Whichever comes first. 
5. No dating guys until Regina's birthday on March 12th. That'll be like, almost three weeks without dating anyone. The longest you've gone without finding a new guy since the break up was like five days! Plus, if you start dating someone now it'll be awkward because when her party comes up, that whole "what are we?," "should I bring him?" thing comes up and that's just awkward, okay? 
6. No texting Rafael anymore. He's a lost cause who spontaneously is interested, disappears, and then texts you like two weeks later. Yes, he is super fucking hot, but he's also a fuckboy, and you always seem to catch the stupid when it comes to him.

Maybe'll I'll meet the Chuck Bass to my Blair Waldorf now?