Stalemate

"Sometimes a psychic tells you something and it feels wrong and others may be right on the money. It's your choice about whom to trust, and giving that trust is something we do ourselves."

-Martha Beck 

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I took a little hiatus from blogging...it's really not my fault! Things have been so crazy with work and life, that I needed a little breather. And so, consider this the big fat catch-up blog post that probably makes no sense.

Chuck and I....are at a weird stalemate. We really are, it's not even me being a colossal bitch or him being at a colossal asshole...it's just a weird stalemate. After he completely disappeared of the surface of the Earth, and went to Mexico, the two of us didn't really talk until that night I got drunk and texted him after crying on Matthew's bathroom floor. And we've kind of been talking...sort of.

It's just hard, okay?

I mean, besides all the history and shit that happened in the past between the two of us, he's thousands of miles away and who knows how he feels about me. And I may, or may not, aka, I 100% may, be a little scared and avoiding my feelings for him. I mean, what good would it be if I fully acknowledged or addressed what I was feeling and all of that weak bitch shit? He's out of the country until July 2nd, and acting like his usual ambiguous Chuck self. And I had changed, kind of.

I was even more fierce and independent than before I had met him, and knew how to rock sexy mom jeans and had messy curls! And I do a daytime smoky eye now!

We had been texting, sort of, in a weird sort of way. Neither of us addressed how the other felt, nor did either of us verbally say "I like you," or, "I find you attractive," or anything along those sorts of things. That's why it felt like a stalemate- there was obviously something holding both of us back.

Half of me wanted to stay, and the other half asked me, "What is there to stay for?" He wasn't outwardly asking me to, and he wasn't outwardly giving me a reason to... unless he was being typical Chuck, and thought that things were just established and that I knew. And to be honest, I was too scared to ask, because of the fear.

In curiosity, I asked a psychic some questions.

"Hi, Blair! Warm regards! As per the analysis of your natal chart, you remain under the influence of planetary mercury due to which you are likely to be helpful, polite, friendly, and determined of nature. During the time September of this year due to the support of Venus, you shall get your true love from the northern east side of your birth location. Should that time be missed, another favorable time would be February 2017. He shall be from your near surrounding and he is likely to be smiley, polite, religious, hard working, and visiting lover kind of person. There might arise some ups and downs in your relationship due to the malefic effect of Mars which is aligned in the 4th house effect. However, if you both move with mutual cooperation and try to understand each other feelings then your relationship shall be good and happy. In the past 2013 and 2014 due to the ill effect of Rahu (northern node of the Moon), you might have had some problems in your study. Good luck."

I know, you're all like, "Has Blair absolutely lost her shit since the last time we talked to her?"

I looked at the analysis, and knew that I had to ask a follow up question.

"What about my ex boyfriend, is he my soul mate?"

" As per the study, you both are seen to have some weak transits of Mars which are seen to cause the problems in your love life in the past. Even the time when you first with him is seen to be under the unfavorable influence of Rahu (North Node of Moon) therefore you may have to make some tough efforts for the recovery of your relationship. He seems not to be your soulmate right now but your relationship may improve with the support of Sun in your natal chart as well as Moon in his partial natal chart. As he has good alignment of Moon in his partial natal chart therefore he may be missing you too. And, your relationship may go better if you make efforts from your side. To find him to be your soulmate, you shall have to do some very hard work because of the unfavorable planetary influence. If you make sufficient efforts, you may get improvement from or may get back to your old relationship from August of 2016, in case you miss then you shall find similarly favorable time from October of 2016 under the favorable influence of the Moon."

And as I stared at the screen, I got a notification.