Conspicuous

"Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest." 

-Bryan Callen

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Days until Chuck comes back: 15
Amount of denial Blair is in about her feelings: more than Chuck likes glow in the dark condoms

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Chuck and I had been nonstop texting, and as he sent each message, I found myself smiling.

ME, Blair Bui, SMILING.

"Bitch you better turn that frown upside down because you cannot give in that easily." I told myself. The two of us were playing a game- a who knows who better sort of game. Chuck was curious about one little detail that I told him I left out of an inappropriate dream I had, and obviously, I wasn't going to just straight up tell him, I was going to make him work for it.

So, the two of us were playing a little game, a who knows the other better sort of game. Each of us would present a question, such as, "what's my favorite DC character?" and the we would each have to answer about the other. It started off about comic book characters and little inside jokes, and ventured to favorite dates (mine was the time we went to get cupcakes, his was the time we went to the field museum) and favorite fucks (mine was the first time, his was the time we used a glow in the dark condom because his "dick looked like a lightsaber").

Blair: But now I want to know what your favorite thing is!

I pulled the covers over me, as my phone went off.

Chuck: Umm, there's a lot of things, idk

A lot of things?

Blair: Really? Like what?
Chuck: Umm well there's... Your face, boobs, pussy, butt, the fact that you are smart, funny, sometimes snarky, and sometimes just having you around

I reread it again, "You are smart, funny, sometimes snarky, and sometimes just having you around." 

He likes having me around.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, BLAIR." I told myself, as I was typing a text back. It had ended up being quite late, as I had completely lost track of time. And I laid there, and pulled the Hello Kitty blanket that Chuck had given me for our first Christmas over me.

"You might like him, maybe, but that doesn't mean you're going to dive headfirst, Blair."

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Days until Chuck comes back: 12
Amount of denial Blair is in about her feelings: more than how conspicuous Blair is

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As I crawled into bed, half tipsy, I continued to text Chuck, as I became more and more conspicuous.

Blair: What are you getting James, Bertram, and JD?

Chuck: Not sure yet

I wondered for a second if he was going to get me something. I mean, he doesn't have to bring me Mayan jewels or anything, but a trinket here and there wouldn't be such a hassle...would it? Last year when Chuck came back, he brought me this beautiful crochet top, a handmade mug (he brought all his friends mugs but claimed mine was the nicest), and my favorite candies from Mexico. And yeah, he wasn't my boyfriend anymore, and we weren't dating exactly, but we were still talking! And Chuck had just told me that he liked having me around and that he had a lot of favorite things about me! 

And although I tried to craft a clever response, what had come out instead was not clever at all.

Blair: Who else are you getting something for 

SMOOTH BLAIR, inconspicuous as fuck....

Chuck: Idk if I'm getting anyone anything this time around, I only have a carry on. I'm leaving to US before the rest of my family. 

Okay, bitch, write a logical and calm response, seem completely indifferent.

Blair: I see! That makes sense.

See? I was breezy and cool, completely unlike Monica was on Friends.

Chuck: Yeah, I would have to find something small

Instinctively, my eyes lit up. Could he be hinting at something? Could he be bringing me a cute, small gift? Something special, perhaps? I knew that it was silly to brainstorm like that, but I couldn't help it!

God, if Chuck ever read this post I think I would die from his cockiness.

If he were to bring me something, there's plenty of cute small gifts. Like rings, earrings, necklaces, and bracelets...

Okay...that might be my inner Blair Waldorf.

Blair: I'm so transparent

Chuck: A little lol

Blair: I'm very conspicuous, my mind is a mystery

Chuck: You mean inconspicuous

Blair: I had a Stella so yes I meant that. Usually I'm correcting you, so good job.

Chuck: Lol, just one, Blair?

Blair: Yes, shh, do you want to know a secret?**

Cute, Blair. Using a secret as a courting device.

Chuck: Go for it

Blair: You can't know that easily

Chuck: Then take another drink

Chuck and I were flirting conspicuously now, and even though I was trying to play it cool, I liked him, and I was super attracted to him...and he knew it. And he likes me, I think, or maybe he just likes my face, boobs, pussy, butt; the fact that I am smart, funny, sometimes snarky, and sometimes just having me around.

Blair: Hahaha no, what if I show up at your door at 2 am***

***referencing the time that Chuck got shitfaced and didn't want to stand me up and showed up at 2 am at my door

Chuck: Why not, you will like it. And I'm in Mexico silly

Chuck had recently been calling me silly, and even though I probably should be offended by his ass, I genuinely found it cute and endearing. I liked it.

I tried to think of something clever, flirtatious, alluring, and coy to send back. Something classy, but arousing. Like a Victoria's Secret commercial.

Blair: I'll do something that'll get kicked out of your grandma's house, I know silly.

"Damn, Blair, for someone who was trying to be elusive, you pretty much went straight up Rihanna music video," I thought to myself.

Chuck: Just drink half of another then
Blair: No then I'll tell you and I might say naughty stuff

I half questioned my wording, but I sent the response, as I pulled off my dress and pulled a t-shirt over me.

Chuck: Like what
Blair: Like naughty stuff
Chuck: Come on, do it

There are two Chuck Cuevas when it comes to flirting- there is the clueless Chuck Cuevas who peels a Clementine in the middle of foreplay and is completely and utterly naive, and cannot take a hint for shit. And then there is the cocky, confident Chuck Cuevas that does this stupid hot half smile-smirk thing and oozes assertiveness.

Unluckily for me, I get weak for both.