#RIPBlairAndRafael2016

“What's meant to be will always find a way”
-Trisha Yearwood

-

"So wait, you FIST BUMPED him goodbye? Your life is literally like a romantic comedy," Serena said, as I laid on my bed and recounted all the events of the day. I was still feeling pretty ashamed and pretty embarrassed that I had a one night stand with Zayn. OKAY, you know what? This wasn't even a one night stand, because we are supposed to be friends and everything, this is a bombtastic disaster.

It was literally the worst sexual experience, and the worst part about it was that I tried to LIE about it. I tried to pretend that it was enjoyable because Zayn hadn't fucked anyone in five and a half years, but it was weird and awkward. Ugh.

I was repulsed with myself, and I had decided to completely avoid Zayn for the rest of my life. Things were so awkward between the two of us that he APOLOGIZED for the "lackluster performance." And on my side of things, I wanted to blow chunks when I remembered that I had fucked Zayn. Just the thought completely grossed me out.

"Maybe you're supposed to feel ashamed, because it happens to everyone at least once!" Serena added. "It'll be totally fine, Blair."

"Except that he asked me if I was avoiding him..."

"Blair.."

"WHAT? I said I wasn't!" I did.

-

Earlier that day, Zayn wanted to stop by to grab a charger, and although I never wanted to see him again (at least for a couple days), I said it was fine. And then I proceeded to run and hide in the bathroom and have Regina give it to him.

"Regina, I need to be awkward and avoid him for a couple days!" I said, defending myself. "Okay, I'll be a better person next week or something, but today I'm going to hide from him and be awkward AF, because that was a terrible and awkward sexual experience and now I feel AWKWARD AND ASHAMED."

"Babe, everyone makes mistakes," Regina said.

"I know, and now I'm running from mine!" I responded, as I ran to the bathroom to hide.

Zayn: At the risk of sounding paranoid, are you trying to avoid me?

I stared at my phone, blankly.

Blair: No.

-

"THAT'S ALL YOU SAID?!" Serena yelled, as I told her everything that happened. "Oh my god Blair, oh my god. You fuck Chuck's boss, and it's so awkward that you fist bump him good bye and then you hide from him and just...No. NO, that's all you said."

"Yup, and I've been reveling in my feelings all day," I admitted, as I pulled my blanket closer.

"But you don't like him."

"Yeah, but I liked Jake Reagen and I liked Rafael," I admitted, as I pulled an Oreo thin from the pack. "And now that I know that Rafael wasn't trying to ghost me. I feel like I messed up, honestly. We had chemistry- and you know how hard it is for me to have chemistry with someone. Fuck, Serena, I rejected two perfectly nice guys because I didn't feel a spark."

"Yeah, but think of it like this- who knows if Rafael was telling the truth? And yeah, he was hot, but that doesn't mean shit when you remember that he went M.I.A! Maybe there's something there, or maybe this is fate and he was just meant to be a ridiculously amazing one night stand. PLUS- he's like the ultra sexy version of Chuck, imagine how Chuck would feel in group hang outs, with your sexy upgrade walking around."

I laughed, "Serena, you're right, #RIPBlairAndRafael2016."