Fasting or Faking

“If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.”
-Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You

Rafael: Hey this is really embarrassing but I'm gonna have to cancel today. It's due to some health issues lol. Basically my like kidney started hurting last night and I thought it was nothing but still feels odd today so I made an appointment for tomorrow morning and I need to fast for 12 hours so I can't eat lmao. Please don't think I'm weird or a bad person. I'll make it up to you and definitely would be willing to reschedule if you are.

Rafael and I had been texting, practically nonstop since we exchanged numbers. We had plans for our first date that night, and I had been excited. And...from what he told me, he was pretty excited too. He had been given the total Regina and Blair stalking treatment- the two of us scrolled through his entire Instagram, analyzing the captions and looking at his tagged photos. And from that, we determined that he is totally hot, a foodie, and a dapper dresser.

"He has like, all the good parts from the guys you've dated. He's a foodie like Ted, he dresses well like Romney, and he has the Mexican of Chuck."

I laughed my ass off at her comment.

"And he's kind of an asshole like Johnny, it's perfect!" Regina had said, scrolling down his Instagram.

ANYWAYS, back to the current situation.

I didn't know what to make of the text that he had sent me- was he trying to dip because he didn't like me? Was he lying?

Blair: Bullshit or naw?
Regina: Not bullshit.
B: It sounds like it.
R: Bitch his kidney hurts! TF?

Blair: Regina says I should stop being a bitch and give him a chance.
Yael: You should give him a chance. Don't be mean to this guy lol.

Johnny: I'd drop him, he sounds like a clown.

It was a weird gut instinct that told me to trust him, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Okay, guys, I'm totally lying, I was a skeptical bitch and totally tried to find out if he was lying. One thing that guys never do is keep track of their lies- they always slip up on the details, fumbling around. And so, after fishing around and being sneaky...he actually was serious. He wasn't lying. With how bummed he was that we couldn't have dinner, with his consistent sticking to what was said- and his evident fasting, he wasn't lying. It was normal for me to be a bit of a cynic- I blame it on all the shit relationship experiences that I've had. If you had them too, you would be in this club.

The day went on as normal, until, suddenly, somehow, Rafael and I ended up making plans to meet up- in half an hour. What started off as witty banter, ended up in Rafael saying that he would call an uber in a bit, and me sprinting to Regina's room.

"REGINA HELP HE'S COMING NOW AND I'M A MESS." I yelled, as I ran into her apartment. "RAFAEL'S COMING."

"Tonight?" Regina asked, giving me a look.

"Yeah, we're going to hang out and watch a-"

"NO SEX," Regina said, interrupting me. She looked at me, and pointed a finger.

"Of course not, I'm not stupid, you never have sex on the first date." 

I had even sent Rafael a text earlier, confirming that.

Blair: We are not going to fuck, FYI
Rafael: I came out of the shower to "we are not going to fuck, FYI."

What can I say? I'm a straightforward lady.

But seriously, although it's a stupid rule, and girls should be allowed to have sex with who they want, whenever they want, you just can't have sex on the first date. It's like a relationship killer- no matter how much you may like them or how into you they were, sex on the first date crushes all of that into dust, and it disappears. Then, the guy just wants to keep on having sex with you, and his intentions of dating you will have magically disappeared. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS. A potential relationship disappears and turns into a bootycall. Lucky us.

Plus, you gotta make them work for it.

As Regina and I hurried to my apartment, we opened the door and started to get into high drive. As we threw cardigans, bras, dresses, and thongs into the closet. I worked on shoving stuff in my closet, Regina worked on straightening out her vanity. And I'm not going to lie, Regina is a real ride or die bitch, because somehow, in like seven minutes, we completely transformed my room. And she managed to touch up my makeup, Cher and Dionne style as I freaked the fuck out.

"Regina, I'm so ner-" and the two of us stopped immediately once the sound of my ringtone started playing.