"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle."
-Marilyn Monroe
On Saturday I woke up on Johnny's couch to an explosion of text messages. Serena, Casey, Audrey, Kayresia, Regina, Zayn, Chuck, Yael, everyone.
I had plans that day to go to Kayresia's birthday dinner, and also to hang out with Audrey. Serena had ended up rescheduling for that Sunday. After shopping with Audrey at Target, and being asked out by a random guy (I had said yes), I decided to go work out before the big dinner. I sported my yoga leggings and favorite pale aqua tank, and headed off to the rec center. And as soon as I walked in, there Johnny was, running on the treadmill.
As we walked on the treadmill, we both talked about our plans.
"So he literally just asked out out in Target?" Johnny said, as he grabbed his water bottle.
"Yup, he came up to me. He's 24, an algorithmic trader, and he lives downtown. And Audrey's boujie ass nearly scared him off, but somehow, it worked out."
"So Target's the place to meet people, huh?" Johnny laughed, as I pulled the band of my leggings up.
"Yup, apparently. We should go, I can be your wing woman."
"That wouldn't work, Blair, people would think that we're dating or something."
"No fucking way, Johnny, you're old and I'm a hot piece of ass." I laughed, pointing at my newly sculpted booty. Johnny and I had dated two years ago, when I was eighteen and when he was twenty six. Back then he had a six pack, and looked young and well, hot. Med school had taken its toll on him, because now Johnny was old, kinda flabby, and acted like his body was falling apart.
"You don't think I could get a young girl?" Johnny asked, a bit offended.
"No, Johnny, because you're past your prime." He was twenty eight, and honestly, when he was twenty six he wasn't necessarily at his prime either. I had seen pictures of him in high school....Johnny used to be hot.
We laughed about what had happened, and he was on his way out. I did my pilates for the day, and as I walked out of the gym, there he was, the asshole-ness oozing out of his pores.
Romney walked in, tight shorts and shirt, and all. His arms were muscular, and you could just sense his abs from under his shirt. Although I couldn't stand Romney, he was hot, and I couldn't pretend otherwise.
"What are you doing here?" Romney asked, laughing. He looked at me, in complete disbelief. Had someone told him that the gym was the safe zone from Blair Bui? Like the green zone?
"I actually go to the gym every day," I responded, snippily. How fucking rude. Just because I lived a sedentary lifestyle before I started going, doesn't mean that I'm out of shape! I left out the detail that I honestly did not go every day- I tried to go every day, but then my body basically fell apart and I decided up having to take a rest week. I was overworking myself.
ANYWAYS,
"Oh really?" Romney asked me, in disbelief. Stupid Hot Romney being hot and stupid.
"REALLY. I run and do pilates," I tooched my booty a bit, as if it were a reflex.
"Are you done with your work out?" Romney asked, curiously.
"Maybe, I'm at the point where I'm deciding if I want to do more." That was a lie, I was at the point where I was going to prove Romney wrong.
"Oh, well I'm about to go do some videos."
"P90X?" I asked, pretending not to know the answer. Romney was such a douche bag about his P90x, I'm pretty sure the mailmain for the zip code in Nebraska knew that Romney did fucking P90x.
"Yeah, you're welcome to join me, if you want."
"Okay," I said, walking with him. He looked at me, in even more disbelief than when I told him that I had worked out every day. "What? You think I can't handle it?"
"They're pretty intense."
We walked a little bit more, before he turned and looked at me. "Actually, I'm going to warm up on the elliptical for a while."
WARM UP ON THE ELLIPTICAL?!? FOR P90X?!
"I kind of had a plan, Blair."
"Well, part of being young and spontaneous is changing your plans for whatever happens."
"We know I'm not either of those things."
"Yeah, but I'm young."
"I think that young implies stupid," Romney said, looking at me.
"Yeah, well I'm young, and we both know I'm not stupid," I said, glaring at him.
"You're younger."
He got up on the elliptical and started working out.
"How's your lady friend?" I asked, politely. I made sure to shoot him a smug, sly, seductive look that said, "you could have had this."
"She's doing well, you know tomorrow's Valentine's day." AKA, he wanted to remind me that I'm a lonely bitch.
"What are your plans?" I asked.
"Flowers, dinner, the usual," Romney responded, cockily. "Just go do whatever, I'll find you after my warm up," he added, emphasizing that the elliptical was his warm up.
I walked away, down the stairs, and straight out the door out of the gym.
-
"SO YOU JUST LEFT HIM IN THE GYM?!" Serena said, nearly dropping her piece of pork into her ramen.
"Okay, so what happened was that I told myself that I'm too old to do petty shit like this anymore, and so I texted him and told him that I had left."
"We have matured so much."
Serena and I had a lovely lunch with her boyfriend, we went to the Vitamin Vault Walgreens, got donuts at Stan's, and we went to my favorite bar.
And then I woke up in my bed, hung over as fuck, at 9 pm. I remember drinking mimosas and Stellas, and having a ridiculous amount of Jell-O shots. Somehow I made it home, and somehow I found a half eaten donut inside my purse.
I checked my phone, to see that Rafael had screenshotted my Snapchat message, and to see a message from Romney.
What the fuck had I done?
I had plans that day to go to Kayresia's birthday dinner, and also to hang out with Audrey. Serena had ended up rescheduling for that Sunday. After shopping with Audrey at Target, and being asked out by a random guy (I had said yes), I decided to go work out before the big dinner. I sported my yoga leggings and favorite pale aqua tank, and headed off to the rec center. And as soon as I walked in, there Johnny was, running on the treadmill.
As we walked on the treadmill, we both talked about our plans.
"So he literally just asked out out in Target?" Johnny said, as he grabbed his water bottle.
"Yup, he came up to me. He's 24, an algorithmic trader, and he lives downtown. And Audrey's boujie ass nearly scared him off, but somehow, it worked out."
"So Target's the place to meet people, huh?" Johnny laughed, as I pulled the band of my leggings up.
"Yup, apparently. We should go, I can be your wing woman."
"That wouldn't work, Blair, people would think that we're dating or something."
"No fucking way, Johnny, you're old and I'm a hot piece of ass." I laughed, pointing at my newly sculpted booty. Johnny and I had dated two years ago, when I was eighteen and when he was twenty six. Back then he had a six pack, and looked young and well, hot. Med school had taken its toll on him, because now Johnny was old, kinda flabby, and acted like his body was falling apart.
"You don't think I could get a young girl?" Johnny asked, a bit offended.
"No, Johnny, because you're past your prime." He was twenty eight, and honestly, when he was twenty six he wasn't necessarily at his prime either. I had seen pictures of him in high school....Johnny used to be hot.
We laughed about what had happened, and he was on his way out. I did my pilates for the day, and as I walked out of the gym, there he was, the asshole-ness oozing out of his pores.
Romney walked in, tight shorts and shirt, and all. His arms were muscular, and you could just sense his abs from under his shirt. Although I couldn't stand Romney, he was hot, and I couldn't pretend otherwise.
"What are you doing here?" Romney asked, laughing. He looked at me, in complete disbelief. Had someone told him that the gym was the safe zone from Blair Bui? Like the green zone?
"I actually go to the gym every day," I responded, snippily. How fucking rude. Just because I lived a sedentary lifestyle before I started going, doesn't mean that I'm out of shape! I left out the detail that I honestly did not go every day- I tried to go every day, but then my body basically fell apart and I decided up having to take a rest week. I was overworking myself.
ANYWAYS,
"Oh really?" Romney asked me, in disbelief. Stupid Hot Romney being hot and stupid.
"REALLY. I run and do pilates," I tooched my booty a bit, as if it were a reflex.
"Are you done with your work out?" Romney asked, curiously.
"Maybe, I'm at the point where I'm deciding if I want to do more." That was a lie, I was at the point where I was going to prove Romney wrong.
"Oh, well I'm about to go do some videos."
"P90X?" I asked, pretending not to know the answer. Romney was such a douche bag about his P90x, I'm pretty sure the mailmain for the zip code in Nebraska knew that Romney did fucking P90x.
"Yeah, you're welcome to join me, if you want."
"Okay," I said, walking with him. He looked at me, in even more disbelief than when I told him that I had worked out every day. "What? You think I can't handle it?"
"They're pretty intense."
We walked a little bit more, before he turned and looked at me. "Actually, I'm going to warm up on the elliptical for a while."
WARM UP ON THE ELLIPTICAL?!? FOR P90X?!
"I kind of had a plan, Blair."
"Well, part of being young and spontaneous is changing your plans for whatever happens."
"We know I'm not either of those things."
"Yeah, but I'm young."
"I think that young implies stupid," Romney said, looking at me.
"Yeah, well I'm young, and we both know I'm not stupid," I said, glaring at him.
"You're younger."
He got up on the elliptical and started working out.
"How's your lady friend?" I asked, politely. I made sure to shoot him a smug, sly, seductive look that said, "you could have had this."
"She's doing well, you know tomorrow's Valentine's day." AKA, he wanted to remind me that I'm a lonely bitch.
"What are your plans?" I asked.
"Flowers, dinner, the usual," Romney responded, cockily. "Just go do whatever, I'll find you after my warm up," he added, emphasizing that the elliptical was his warm up.
I walked away, down the stairs, and straight out the door out of the gym.
-
"SO YOU JUST LEFT HIM IN THE GYM?!" Serena said, nearly dropping her piece of pork into her ramen.
"Okay, so what happened was that I told myself that I'm too old to do petty shit like this anymore, and so I texted him and told him that I had left."
"We have matured so much."
Serena and I had a lovely lunch with her boyfriend, we went to the Vitamin Vault Walgreens, got donuts at Stan's, and we went to my favorite bar.
And then I woke up in my bed, hung over as fuck, at 9 pm. I remember drinking mimosas and Stellas, and having a ridiculous amount of Jell-O shots. Somehow I made it home, and somehow I found a half eaten donut inside my purse.
I checked my phone, to see that Rafael had screenshotted my Snapchat message, and to see a message from Romney.
What the fuck had I done?
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