Blair Makes Rafael's Hotline Bling

"I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing"
-Aubrey Drake Graham

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When you get over someone, there's signs. You stop thinking about them, you forget things about them, you stop associating things with them, and you are well, happy. You stop getting sad over the fact that you have to order your own fries now. Or that no one is going to text you telling you that you need to take an uber home instead of being a stubborn ass that walks around Chicago at night. You stop getting sad because Vapiano used to be your place, and that semi-crappy Chinese delivery used to be your thing. You're even a little happier, because now you don't have to eat Mongolian beef every damn time you order from there.

You forge traditions of your own, and make memories of your own. You're happy, fulfilled, and free. 

But sometimes, there's certain things that you can't help but miss...

Okay, you don't miss the fighting at 2 am, the fact that they chose their jackass friends over you all the time, you know, normal things. The fact that they were socipaths with narcissistic tendencies that emotionally manipulated you....you just miss, um, the other stuff.

(It's not like I didn't value the other parts of our relationship and like I didn't care about him, I did! But I've moved on and gotten over that part already!)

And there was no way in hell that I would even consider booty calling Chuck.

It had been a little while since Rafael and I spoke, but that didn't matter because booty calls worked in this magical realm where you didn't even have to talk to the person regularly. It bended a bunch of social worlds, and quite honestly- I got to have my strings plucked when I needed to, and I got to ignore Rafael the other 99% of the time. Especially when he was trying to convince me that he was a nice person.

To refresh your memory:
Rafael: I think I'm more than nice. But if you don't think so then you don't have to talk to me.

I fumbled with the words a little, but I ended up going with my usual--I assumed that this point that he wouldn't be dumb enough to think that I'm trying to actually hang out with him. Plus, I was sure that whenever I texted him, his reaction was "This bitch," as soon as he saw my name on the screen.

Blair: What are you doing later

Cool, breezy, unpunctuated.

Rafael: Getting groceries and making dinner. What's up?

Why was this boy always making food and buying groceries?

Blair: We should hang out!

Translation: We should have intercourse!

Rafael: Maybe like late?

I resisted the urge to say, "fucking duh." But I definitely thought it out loud. I was sitting in class, and it was like noon- did he really think that I was trying to get some this early? Especially when the two of us (well, one of us) had actual responsibilities and a real job?

Blair: That would be best.

I added a little more, so I wouldn't sound so bitchy.

Blair: That would be best. I have to go to Target and run errands after work.

He probably was like, "Why is this girl always going to Target?" But I didn't really give a fuck.

Rafael: Alright just hmu later bc I'm not sure how busy I'll be
Rafael: And I need sleep lol

Four hours later....

As Janet talked on the phone, I sat at my desk, typing away.

"It's on the corner of Irving Park Road, and Lake Shore Drive," she spoke into her phone, as those specific instructions sparked something in my brain.

Irving Park Road and LSD, those coordinates sounded so familiar...who did I know that lived in that area?

"I live at 3950 N. Lake Shore Drive," she said, immediately ringing a bell.

3950.

THIRTY NINE FIFTY. Rafael's apartment building that seemed like an oversized frat house for working professionals that wanted to relive their glory days. A building that seemed impressive on the outside, and far less impressive on the inside. The building with the doorman who scanned me from tip to toe, making mental notes that night about the girl Rafael Mancilla was about to smash.

Horror stories had conjured up in my brain in a matter of seconds,

What if the fire alarm went off the next time that I was there, and I ran out in one of Rafael's blue button-downs, to see Janet staring at me?

What if Janet saw me leaving at 5 am, doing the walk of shame?

OR EVEN WORSE- what if one day we shared a cab to work, as I left there, all walk of shame-y?

WHAT IF THAT OLDER LADY RAFAEL FUCKED IN HIS BUILDING WAS JANET?!

Four hours later....

"I highly doubt that he would fuck Janet," Gwyneth laughed, as I listed all of my potential problems about 3950, with her.

"Shouldn't you see if you guys are meeting up?" She asked, as the thoughts popped out of my brain, like little bubbles of ridiculousless.

I pulled out my new rose gold iPhone, and quickly typed a message.

Blair (8:18 pm): Are we meeting up like later?

Rafael: What time you thinking?

Booty call hour, sex time, dick o' clock.

Blair: Like 10:30ish? Girl's gotta eat her spaghetti squash.

You guys that's not a euphemism, I was genuinely making spaghetti squash.

Rafael: Like be here 10:30?

Blair: I guess. If that works?

I watched Netflix, chilled a little, and expected him to take a little while in responding. I knew it was because he was salty about what happened last time we talked, and how he tried to defend himself by saying he was a nice person. Plus, I knew that he didn't like that I was in charge, and calling the shots here.

Rafael: Nah, I'm probably going to have to pass

Was he serious? Literally, all he had to do was wait fifteen minutes, go down to the lobby, let me in. And then smash me. THAT'S IT. 

A cute, small, young Asian woman was coming to his damn door for an encounter, and then she was going to leave afterwards, to go home and sleep. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

I wasn't even going to ask for guac or anything this time! 

"What the fuck?" I thought to myself, as I sent screenshots to my friends. "He came in like two seconds last time, and he definitely enjoyed himself."

I shrugged it off, and continued to watch Netflix. And that's when the texts started rolling in.

Rafael : But I'll hit you up tomorrow though?

Hell to the fucking no. I was in charge of this arrangement, and I was the one summoning him. He had it easy--he just needed to open his door. I was the one who needed to trek all the way to 3950, and after the discovery I had made about Janet today, that made things even more not worth  it. Rafael was cocky and a little douche lord, no way was he calling the shots. 

I continued to watch Netflix, and relax. As I sat there, texting Leonard, Matthew, and a few of my other friends, my phone went off with another notification.

Rafael : ??

Rafael had not just double texted since I didn't answer his first text...he triple texted. I laughed a little at his failed power play, and ignored it. My night was going to consist of Netflix, carbless pasta, and relaxation. I guess, maybe, I could text him back the next day. Maybe.

It was a little lesson for him- when Blair makes your hotline ring, you better not turn down that damn thing.