“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”
-C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair
-
Current Problems in my business,
a definitive list by Elizabeth Bui, Owner and Operator of Blair Bui Consulting
- I have absolutely no business assets, whatsoever. I actually am out thirty dollars for all the Starbucks runs and business cards that I ordered off of Vista Print. Damn chai tea lattes.
- I have no design person on my team, and even though I know what my aesthetic and brand is- I have no idea how to design a fucking logo.
- The person I interviewed for the job asked ME more questions, and ended up telling me, "Sorry your business is stupid, I'm not interested."
- Okay, he didn't say it like that, but still. I have haters.
- Chuck could very easily make me a free logo right about now.
- I have no clients- the only clients in my database are Kevin, "Chad Fuxington," and Blair Bui Test Booking.
- I am ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SURE THAT "CHAD FUXINGTON" IS A FAKE PERSON.
- OKAY, so that means I have even more people than I thought who think that my business is stupid as hell.
- I am making no profit. I am losing profit.
- No one wanted their free consultations from my email list.
- Okay, my email list consists of Zayn and Chuck, my friends and team members, but still, this shit was FREE.
- Chuck is probably more successful than me right now.
- Fuck Chuck, actually.
- No one wants to work for me, or endorse me, probably.
- Guys keep using my business as a courting device.
- MY FIRST CLIENT EVER AKA KEVIN TRIED TO FUCK ME AND NOW HE'S STOLEN MY ADVICE I GAVE HIM AND HE'S STARTING HIS OWN CONSULTING BUSINESS.
"DO YOU SEE THIS?" I said to Shane, as Kevin's snapchat announcement video kept playing. Shane just looked at me, and laughed.
"ADVICE FROM THE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE HE'S HAD?! Fucking bullshit. More like advice from the few sessions I had with him," I yelled, shaking my damn head. For whatever reason, it turned out that Blair Bui Consulting wasn't happening, and that it wasn't a thing. It didn't help and reform people, it turned them into thieving business stealing assholes.
"Can you believe that he's going to start giving advice and consulting people? HE STOLE MY IDEA."
"Well, it happens," Shane assured me, as he kept laughing.
"I know what you're thinking," I said, sassily, "OF COURSE this would happen to Blair, she would have her very first client try to fuck her, and then steal her advice and start his own rip-off business," I groaned, as I took another sip of beer.
"You said it, not me," Shane said.
And I thought guys using my business as a courtship device was worse. I went to bed, and for whatever reason, I thought that things would magically fall together the next day. But they didn't, because as I checked Facebook on my phone, there was a nasty surprise waiting for me.
HEY GUYS, CHECK MY VLOG OUT.
Kevin was posting his advice, and pitifully trying to actually consult people.
Blair: This keeps getting worse
I attached a screenshot of the post, and sent it to Shane.
And as I sat there, there was this feeling that just hit me.
You miss Chuck. You miss Chuck and seeing him yesterday shook you because you miss his ass.
And as that voice spoke to me, another one yelled, "If he wanted to be with you, he would."
You know he can't be with you right now, he needs to figure his shit out. You know he loves you and wants to be with you.
Yeah, well he thinks I'm going to wait two years for him, so fuck him.
No he doesn't, he told you that you're free to do what you wish, but he doesn't want to be with anyone except for you, YOU, ELIZABETH BUI. And you know there's fire between the two of you, and you know that he cares about you. Stubborn bitch.
You miss him.
And as I realized all the things that were happening around me, and how stressed I've been- how I have barely reacted to anything to me, how I've become completely indifferent, how I haven't reacted emotionally to anything happening around me. How Ted and Zayn sexually assaulted me, and all I could say was, "ew, they're gross." How I've lost friends and I've been like, "Okay, whatever." How my mother had major surgery and I wasn't losing my mind like I should have been. How so many things have happened, and I'e been indifferent or slightly unreactive, when a year ago, I cared so much about everything and everyone. I felt so many things that I was completely transparent with my emotions and completely obvious, and I cared so much, I cared too much.
And now, for the first time in months, the first time I really felt something was when I ran into Chuck's ass.
I missed him.
And that is how, I, Elizabeth Bui, started crying uncontrollably on a park bench on campus. Sobbing uncontrollably, at 10:00 pm at night, as people walked past coming from the library. I was crying for the first time in months, I was feeling something real for the first time in months, and I was completely and utterly breaking down.
-
"Are you okay?" Chuck said, as I walked into the lobby of his building. It was so familiar but so strange, at the exact same time. I looked up at him, and saw him looking back at me, concerned. Chuck looked different, he was skinnier than before, and seemed a little bit lost. But then again, we both were.
"I just sobbed uncontrollably on a bench for the past fifteen minutes. And then I had to gain my composure so I wouldn't be walking through your apartment building looking like shit," I responded, as I wiped my wing.
"Alright, well let's get upstairs. I have a lab due at midnight, but I'm definitely going to listen to you talk, and we can definitely get cheese fries later."
"Can you believe that he's going to start giving advice and consulting people? HE STOLE MY IDEA."
"Well, it happens," Shane assured me, as he kept laughing.
"I know what you're thinking," I said, sassily, "OF COURSE this would happen to Blair, she would have her very first client try to fuck her, and then steal her advice and start his own rip-off business," I groaned, as I took another sip of beer.
"You said it, not me," Shane said.
And I thought guys using my business as a courtship device was worse. I went to bed, and for whatever reason, I thought that things would magically fall together the next day. But they didn't, because as I checked Facebook on my phone, there was a nasty surprise waiting for me.
HEY GUYS, CHECK MY VLOG OUT.
Kevin was posting his advice, and pitifully trying to actually consult people.
Blair: This keeps getting worse
I attached a screenshot of the post, and sent it to Shane.
And as I sat there, there was this feeling that just hit me.
You miss Chuck. You miss Chuck and seeing him yesterday shook you because you miss his ass.
And as that voice spoke to me, another one yelled, "If he wanted to be with you, he would."
You know he can't be with you right now, he needs to figure his shit out. You know he loves you and wants to be with you.
Yeah, well he thinks I'm going to wait two years for him, so fuck him.
No he doesn't, he told you that you're free to do what you wish, but he doesn't want to be with anyone except for you, YOU, ELIZABETH BUI. And you know there's fire between the two of you, and you know that he cares about you. Stubborn bitch.
You miss him.
And as I realized all the things that were happening around me, and how stressed I've been- how I have barely reacted to anything to me, how I've become completely indifferent, how I haven't reacted emotionally to anything happening around me. How Ted and Zayn sexually assaulted me, and all I could say was, "ew, they're gross." How I've lost friends and I've been like, "Okay, whatever." How my mother had major surgery and I wasn't losing my mind like I should have been. How so many things have happened, and I'e been indifferent or slightly unreactive, when a year ago, I cared so much about everything and everyone. I felt so many things that I was completely transparent with my emotions and completely obvious, and I cared so much, I cared too much.
And now, for the first time in months, the first time I really felt something was when I ran into Chuck's ass.
I missed him.
And that is how, I, Elizabeth Bui, started crying uncontrollably on a park bench on campus. Sobbing uncontrollably, at 10:00 pm at night, as people walked past coming from the library. I was crying for the first time in months, I was feeling something real for the first time in months, and I was completely and utterly breaking down.
-
"Are you okay?" Chuck said, as I walked into the lobby of his building. It was so familiar but so strange, at the exact same time. I looked up at him, and saw him looking back at me, concerned. Chuck looked different, he was skinnier than before, and seemed a little bit lost. But then again, we both were.
"I just sobbed uncontrollably on a bench for the past fifteen minutes. And then I had to gain my composure so I wouldn't be walking through your apartment building looking like shit," I responded, as I wiped my wing.
"Alright, well let's get upstairs. I have a lab due at midnight, but I'm definitely going to listen to you talk, and we can definitely get cheese fries later."
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