Me, Elizabeth Bui

“There are secret opportunities hidden inside every failure.”

-Sophia Amoruso, #GIRLBOSS

-

And even though that snapchat of Chuck stared right back at me, of him at that party, all I could do was smile, because I knew that I was exactly where I should have been. In less than a week, my life has completely changed. Not only now was I completely off guys, but I was in charge- I was my own boss, not that I wasn't before.

-

I felt great helping Kevin with his break up, it was this crazy weird sense of accomplishment that I had in helping him. He was in a place that I had been in before- it wasn't a place you wanted to be in either. There were so many mistakes that I had made, so many experiences that I wished I hadn't had to go through. But now, being able to help and guide him, in a way that made it worth it. I steered him away from the mistakes that I had made, and was able to tell him everything that I wished that I could hear. And trust me, in loving Chuck Cuevas and being thrown in a ditch, I had learned a hell of a lot.

The last time I saw Carter he and I had talked about our insane incompatibility, but he told me that he was glad all of this happened, because every person that you meet is a puzzle piece. They play a role in the grand puzzle of things, Carter wasn't just there to try and get a slice of my apple pie, he played a crucial role in me realizing that my friendship with Regina wasn't the best. And after that conversation, I couldn't help but wonder what role people play in my life, and what role I play in theirs. And the most obvious role I was playing was in Kevin.

Somehow, I was helping him, and it seemed like I was genuinely making an impact. And I loved it.

Kevin: Well still wanting that TLDR to send to Callie about the housing

Even though Kevin seemed so confused and perplexed, I just somehow knew exactly what to do. Callie was a petty bitch, and I knew how to handle a petty bitch.

Blair: You say, "Callie, you need to leave. You're the one who broke up with me- I want to stay here, and I want my friend to live with me. I've accommodated you for the past two years and I'm not going to do it anymore. You need to find a new room." And then she’ll say, "But don't you want to get back together Kevin blah blah blah..” And then you say, "No, I don't see us getting back together, especially after you hurt me like this. You need to find a new place.”
Kevin: WOW. Thank you, you are the best. Here goes nothing!
Blair: You're welcome, tell me what happens!

And as crazy as it sounds, I actually felt this overwhelming sense of happiness for him. I had helped Kevin and guided him towards dealing with his shitty ex. It wasn't hard for me to know what to do, from the experiences I had I knew exactly how to had someone like Callie. I knew how to word things exactly to convey what Kevin was thinking and feeling- even when he was completely lost in the sauce.

“Wow, I’m really making a difference,” I thought to myself.

My phone went off with a notification, it must have been Kevin thanking me for my help!

Kevin: Well nothing was accomplished.

Shit. Maybe I wasn't as helpful as I thought.

Blair: What happened?
Kevin: She said, "Well you can't always get what you want. you need to leave, Noah and you wanting to live with him is not my problem. You have the ability to leave, where as I do not. This isn't accommodation, I was trying to accommodate you. I didn't even need to this in the first place, you're being unfair.” And then I said back, “I dont always get waht i want. it is your problem cause im going to be your roomie. yeah you do. go to another building. of course it is. and you wanna talk about unfair?”
Blair: Okay and then what happened?
Kevin: “Im not going. live in another room, you werent even gonna be able to live with him if i hadt broken up with you. (LIKE I WOULD RATHER HAVE THAT WTF?) This is a compromise, i tried to help you guys, but couldnt. i tried to move out before but you didnt coordinate me. This is on you. (she didnt try that hard)” And then I said back, “Okay ill see you next year then!”

I knew my shit, Kevin standing up for himself and being assertive should have been enough to get her to do something. Callie had been used to him accommodating her for a year and a half, there was no way that him standing up for himself, finally, didn't shake her. Not to mention that no self-respecting girl would want to live with her ex-boyfriend that she dated for almost two years!

Blair: You both suck at arguing. Tell her, "If you think you're doing this to annoy me, you're not. We aren't getting back together and I don't care. You really want to live with your ex boyfriend next year? I'm not leaving and you need to find a new place, I don't care where you go or what you do, you can't stay with me. I'm not moving, you have plenty of other rooms you can go to."
Kevin: Oh god, I don't know if I can.

I knew that he couldn't, because I was once in the position he was. I had always been there for Chuck for emotional support, even after we broke up- I was there for him. And when he finally wasn't there for me, instead of standing up for myself and telling him to fuck off, I just stopped talking to him and sneaked away. And God, I wished that I had stood up for myself and told him to fuck off.

Blair: I know you can't, because you still care about her, even though she doesn't give a fuck about you.

Harsh, I know, but the poor guy needed to hear the truth.

Blair: Do you really wanna live with her, and not be able to move on?
Kevin: I do not, but i dont want to be push around. I want that room
Blair: Exactly.
Kevin: Worst case we have the same unit. I think by then ill be strong enough to get over her and not give a shit.

Oh hell no- that just opens up the idea of getting back together and having sex and all the other nonsense that comes with exes.

Blair: No. Worst case you move and don't tell her.

I went to bed, having faith in my advice and Kevin. Things were going to work out- they just had to!

As I crawled out of bed, I saw a text from Kevin.

Kevin: Blair, we won
Blair: I knew we would lol. I told you to listen to me!
Kevin: But your methods were great
Blair: She was shocked that you actually stood up for something
Kevin: Yeah feels thrilling
Blair: And that's just the beginning.

It was. Kevin's newest chapter was just beginning.

Kevin: She can bitch to her friends all she wants about this
Blair: She will...but you won!
Kevin: Put me in coach! You deserve coffee most definitely on me.
Blair: I'll take it. What's your next step?
Kevin: Ignore her. Delete her from my life
Blair: Good. Delete those pictures!
Kevin: Today's a good day.

I remembered my first good day after my break up, it made me feel happy knowing that I had helped Kevin reach his first good day after his break up. It was the beginning, the start of a new chapter, and the point where he could finally leave his shitty ex and move on with his life. And I had helped him- me, Elizabeth Bui.

Blair: Don't delete her on social media though you want her to see that you're doing great without her lol.

Okay, guys, I didn't say that my advice was perfectly perfect.

Blair: And off course it's a great day, it's the beginning of a new chapter!
Kevin: And I even got my friend in
Blair: I know. You just gotta be strong


I guess I never really thought about it, but I had always really liked giving relationship advice and helping other people with their relationships and loved ones. For god’s sake, I was a relationship and love centric blogger, whether I wanted to admit it or not. All the guys I've dated, all the situations that I've found myself in, the crazy, the ridiculous, and the unbelievable, it all actually taught me a lot.

After only two phone calls and a couple long chat conversations, I had Kevin from crying over his ex to happy as a clam, starting the newest chapter of his life. Not only starting- but he was genuinely happy and genuinely enthusiastic about what the future held! And somehow I had helped with that.

And then I sat there, in my Cellular Biology lecture, thinking, “what if there's other people out there as lost as I was? As lost as I was?” People out there who needed some real, genuine, flat-out honest advice about whatever situation they were in. I had given real, honest, and genuinely good advice to Kevin- which had worked! And had helped him!

And then the idea appeared in my head- I could be a break up coach…. or a relationship consultant.

Blair: Am I really helpful
Kevin: You tell me?
Blair: Lol what I'm asking you if I'm helping you
Kevin: I'm asking a rhetorical question, because it's obvious you are ahahah
Blair: I know but to what extent


I took a deep breath, before moving forward.

Blair: Like good enough to help other people?
Kevin: Yeah, I'd say so
Blair: Hmmmmmm
Kevin: You are saving me from traps in the future
Blair: Thank you, Kevin.
Kevin: Nah thank you!

The idea was in my mind, and once it was planted I couldn't stop thinking about it. So, excitedly I texted Yael.

Yael: Oh god.

What a hater.

Was the idea of me being a relationship consultant/break up coach really that crazy? I had the experience, and I gave real, genuine, honest advice! And good advice too- look at Kevin! I looked down at the scribbles on my notebook- was my idea really that crazy?

My thought was interrupted by my friend Shay walking out of our lecture hall. Shay had his own business, and he had plenty of advice.

And so, after Starbucks, having a business meeting, thinking of a game plan, conjuring name ideas, designing a website on Wix, ordering business cards, and a whole lot of nonsense, Blair Bui Relationship Consulting was born.

And I was just starting when it came to building my empire. It felt so good- I was the owner and operator, CEO, this was my baby. My daydream and crazy idea, it had been born. And I wouldn't have been there, hair in a mess and business cards on the way, if all of this hadn't happened.

If Chuck dumping me on Friendsgiving hadn't happened, if Rafael hadn't ghosted me, if Johnson hadn't followed me twenty blocks, and if Derek didn't end up being a total dud. Each and every person I had met, every guy that had dumped me, every guy I had dumped, every terrible date and embarrassing hook up, had led to this moment. Every relationship I had seen or witnessed. All these experiences had shaped and given me knowledge. All the things I learned, all the hard lessons, they led me here.

And I couldn't help but feel more excited than I had in months.